Author: Jamie Resker

Navigating Challenging Conversations Strengthening and Improving Work Relationships All-Employee Program
Facilitator Guide

Employee Performance Solutions Communication Skills and Tools for High Performing Teams
Facilitator Guide

Copyright
Copyright © 2017 by Jamie Resker, Employee Performance Solutions, LLC. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. Except as permitted under the United States Copyright Act of 1976, unless specifically noted on the documentation included in the materials, no part of this program or any of the related materials may be copied, reproduced, reengineered, reformatted or reused in any form whatsoever, without the express written consent of Employee Performance Solutions, LLC. No part of this publication may be distributed in any form or by any means, or stored in a data base or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the author.
This publication is designed to provide information relating to employee performance feedback. It is sold and provided with the understanding that the author is not engaged in rendering legal advice. If legal advice is required, the services of a legal professional should be sought. From a declaration of principles jointly adopted by a committee of the American Bar Association and a committee of publisher.

Licensing and Facilitation

Workshop Facilitation and Materials

Program Materials and all aspects of the Navigating Challenging Conversations Training Program are the confidential information of Employee Performance Solutions LLC (The Licensor).
The Licensor’s materials are designed to be used as produced by Licensor within the Client Organization (Pact). The materials may not be photocopied, reproduced or modified without Licensor’s prior written consent. Each workshop participant must have his or her own individual set of original participant materials, which must be purchased from Licensor and may not be reused by subsequent participants. The licensing fee is incorporated into the cost of each set of participant materials.
Workshops may only be facilitated by Certified Facilitators who have participated in the Train-the-Trainer facilitation program as provided by Licensor.
The material may be taught within the Client Organization only. Should the Certified Facilitator leave the Client Organization and wish to facilitate the program elsewhere, a new agreement must be initiated with the new Client Organization

Each training participant will need their own set of original materials:

Workshop Description

Conversations to Connect Strengthening and Improving Work Relationships
Audience: All Employees Duration: 3-hours
Program Overview:
You’ll learn how to:
Engage in quick conversations with peers— Use the 5-Minute Peer Questions Conversation Framework for ongoing opportunities to align expectations, communicate about what is working, and create ongoing two-way dialogue with your colleagues. Think of this as a tune-up to insure your work relationships are in good working order.
Remap unmet needs into future-focused requests—Use the Turnaround Approach to reframe unmet expectations into small conversations focused on expressing what you want. Understand why the brain is hard-wired to push away "constructive criticism", and learn how to use "brain-friendly" wording that leads to understanding and collaboration.
Learn how to validate your assumptions—Basing our actions on incorrect assumptions can lead to unnecessary drama, stress, and energy depletion. Using the Ladder of Inference, we will see that filling-in missing details is human nature. Learn an approach to select the right wording and questions to "get the full story" (without putting the person on the defense).
Convey an impact—sometimes, an individual's actions have a negative impact. Usually, this person is unaware of how he/she is being perceived or experienced. Learn how and when to use the Situation, Behavior, and Impact model to create awareness (with the intent that the individual modifies his/her approach).

Program Materials

Program Materials

Workshop Materials		Facilitator Notes
Workshop Preparation
		Flip Chart or White Board With Markers / Post-It Notes
Participant Materials
		Participant Materials / One set of materials per person

Program Materials

Program Materials

Videos		Facilitator Notes
Ladder of Inference Video
		Rethinking thinking - Trevor Maber Ladder of Inference Video / Speakers/Sound
VMA Awards Video

Tips for Using the Facilitator Guide

A Note to Facilitators The workshop is designed to be experiential. It balances teaching/explaining with individual, pair, and small group activities. The sequence of lecture and activities is designed to teach and explain an idea and immediately provide the opportunity for practice. It is suggested that you incorporate your own stories and personal examples to illustrate the concepts.
Facilitator Queues:

	Teach/Explain
	Participant Discussion
	Workbook Activity
	Post-It Note Exercise
	Activity Requiring Flip Chart
	Approximate Activity Time
	Video

Make sure the video file is saved on the computer you’ll be using for the slide presentation.
“Insert” the video into the ppt. slide
Before each training test the video to insure it’s working. Oftentimes it needs to be re-inserted.

Self-Driven Insight

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Program Title and Facilitator
		Review the Learning Objectives / Use three approaches to initiate small conversations to resolve issues and improve relationships. / Get your point across in a way that feels respectful, shows positive intent, and avoids unnecessary conflict/drama. / Find the right words—script your message
Slide: Learning Objectives

Participant Expectations Post-It Note Exercise

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Participant Expectations
		Say, “Now that I’ve given you some information about the program, write the one thing you want to get from today’s session on a sticky note.” / Instruct participants to post the notes on a wall or flipchart. / Have participants read the notes. / Debrief and summarize the main themes.

Post-It Note Exercise

Organizational Chart

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Organizational Chart—Work Dependencies (animated slide)
		Facilitator Note: This is an animated slide: / Work Dependencies Include: / Your manager / If you’re a manager, you’re direct reports / Colleagues / External work relationships, such as: / _________________________________________ / _________________________________________ / _________________________________________ / As you think about the people you rely upon to accomplish your work and the people who depend upon you, ask yourself: / Do the people you rely upon know what you need? / Do the people you work closely with know what you appreciate about them? / Do you know what others need from you? / Are you aware of what others appreciate about you? / Understanding these needs helps build productive, solid work relationships—furthering your organization’s work. / There are times when a small conversation can improved a work relationship.

Frustrations

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Frustrations
		Briefly show this slide—no explanation necessary.

Sources of Frustration and the Three Buckets

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Frustrations
		Reference the categories of frustration sources. / Facilitator Note: This is an animated slide: / Reveal” each “bucket”: / Explain the That Issues Fall Into Three “Buckets.” / · Unmet Expectations / · Off-Base Assumptions/Misinterpreted Intent / · Unexpected Behavior or Action / Unresolved issues, in these categories, lead to a “Breakdown in Relationships.” / Reiterate this point: / “The workshop will show you three approaches to resolve issues falling into these “buckets”; all to improve work relationships.” / At work, at home, and in life sometimes, / 1. People don’t meet our expectations / 2. We make incorrect assumptions and then act on those assumptions / 3. Someone’s behavior or actions are creating a negative impact on us (that they are likely unaware of) / Ask: “What happens when an issue goes unaddressed?” / Allow participants to respond (unresolved issues can lead to strained relationships and undue stress. etc.)
Slide: Three Buckets (animated slide)

3 Ways to Strengthen Relationships

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: 3 Ways to Strengthen Relationships
		Facilitator Note: This is an animated slide: “Reveal” each approach: / Use the Turnaround/Make a Request / Use This Approach When: You want to move criticisms into positive actions by reframing a problem or unmet need into a request. A focus on improvement and future possibilities invites the other person into the role of solution provider versus the receiver of criticism. / Get the Full Story / Use This Approach When: You interpret an individual’s actions in a way that brings you to a worrisome conclusion and leaves you wondering about the intent. This approach allows you to get the full story versus imagining the worst case scenario. / Convey Impact / Use This Approach When: You want to bring awareness to an individual whose actions are having an adverse impact. This creates the opportunity for the person to understand how they are being experienced, and what they can do to adjust their approach for a better outcome. / . / .
Workbook Page: 3

Make a Request: Turnaround and Reframe Approach

		.

Make a Request: Turnaround and Reframe Approach

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Make a Request
		Introduce the “Make a Request” Turnaround and Reframe Section.
Workbook Page: 4
Slide: Learning Objectives

Causes of Unmet Expectations

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Causes of Unmet Expectations (animated slide)
		Facilitator Note: This is an animated slide: / Walk through the Common Causes of Unmet Expectations / Ask: What is the most likely reason an individual is not meeting expectations? / Is unaware / Doesn’t know how / Can’t / Won’t / *The most common answer is “unaware”. / Ask: “If an individual is unaware of our expectation, then what is the logical step?” / Answer: Let the individual know what you’d like to happen. / .
Workbook Page: 5

Turnaround/Make a Request Approach

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Turnaround/Make a Request Approach
		For an unmet need or want, use the Turnaround approach. / .

Reactions to Complaints and Criticism

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Reactions to Complaints and Criticism
		Ask: “How do most people respond to criticism?” / (defend, deflect, rationalize). / Use the animation on this slide to demonstrate that the “thinking/rational part of the brain” is diminished in the face of “criticism”. The limbic system, or the emotional brain, takes over when we detect an attack. This triggers the fight or flight reactions: / Flight reaction: withdrawing/becoming quiet. / Fight reaction: acting defensively, rationalizing, or deflecting. / The solution involves providing information in a way that avoids triggering adverse emotional reactions. / The goal is to provide information that keeps the individual on the receiving end open to hearing the information versus moving to an automatic emotional reaction. / Take the path of least resistance: a small conversation versus a difficult or confrontational exchange. Remember that the main goal is to improve your relationship and communicate what you’d like happen in the future (not judge or criticize past actions). / .
Workbook Page: 6

Making a Request Versus a Criticism

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Negative Framing Language
		Negative Framing: / Ask, “What type of reaction do these words create?” / Allow participants to respond (There is something wrong—a deficiency, etc.) / Negative framing is a “recipe” for an automatic defensive self-protective reaction! Criticism leads to defensiveness, deflection and rationalizations. In other words, a confrontational conversations, which doesn’t lead to strengthening the relationship. / Making a Request Versus a Criticism / Ask participants to compare the examples of wording that focus our brain on what we want to have happen versus calling attention to a deficiency. / Point: The goal isn’t to water-down or “sugar-coat” the information, but to make a direct request. / .
Slide: Make a Request Framing Language

Reframing Frustrations into Requests

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Reframe Frustrations into Requests
		Share this quote: / “Every Complaint is a Poorly Worded Request”. / Reframe your frustration into a request. / Making a Request Versus a Criticism / Ask participants to compare the examples of wording that focus our brain on what we want to have happen versus calling attention to a deficiency. / Point: The goal isn’t to water-down or “sugar-coat” the information, but to make a direct request. / .
Workbook Page: 7

Workbook
Activity

Examples of Reframing Criticisms into Requests

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Reframing Examples
		We will learn how to reframe gaps in our expectations into language describing our request. / The Turnaround approach reframes negative information into a future-focused request versus a criticism. / Walk through each turnaround example. Here’s how: / 1. Show the negative/performance gap descriptor. / PAUSE: / 2. Ask for participant suggestions on how to reframe the negative. / 3. Allow time for participants to think of and share ideas for turning around the negative into the target performance. / 4. Reveal the answer on the slide. / Points to Make: / Turning around the initial mental conclusion to describe almost the opposite is the key skill. / We are hardwired to think and talk about what is wrong. This is the traditional approach to giving “constructive criticism”: State the problem, give examples, and describe the negative impact. / .
Slide: Reframing Example

Examples of Reframing Criticisms into Requests

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Reframing Example
Slide: Reframing Example		Walk through each turnaround example. Here’s how: / 1. Show the negative/performance gap descriptor. / PAUSE: / 2. Ask for participant suggestions on how to reframe the negative. / 3. Allow time for participants to think of and share ideas for turning around the negative into the target performance. / 4. Reveal the answer on the slide. / .

Review Examples

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Review Examples
		Direct participants to the Turnaround Examples in the workbook. Allow time for independent review.
Workbook Page: 8

Instructions for Activity

Approximate Activity Time
5-Minutes

Turn a Frustration into a Future-Action Request, Cases 1 and 2

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Turn a Frustration into a Request Activity
		1. Instruct participants to read each scenario and Turn a Frustration into a Future-Action Request. / Divvy-up cases 1, 2, 3, and 4 amongst participants. For example: / 16 participants (assign 4 people to case 1, assign 4 people to case 2, etc.) / Case 1: Jumps In Too Quickly / When my manager and I are at meetings, he responds to questions that I could have answered. The problem is that he jumps in too quickly, and his answer is the same as mine would have been. / What I’d like to have happen instead is___. / Explain how this will help (why you’re asking): This way I can___. / Case 2: Impatient and Irritated / My colleague is very knowledgeable about other initiatives across the organization. Every time he talks about them, I learn something new. But I’m uncomfortable asking him questions because when I do, he gets impatient and acts irritated. I wish his tone and approach were more supportive and patient. / I’d much rather he___. / Explain how this will help (why you’re asking): This way I can___. / .
Workbook Page: 9

Workbook
Activity

Approximate Activity Time
6 Minutes

Approximate Activity Time
5-Minutes

Turn a Frustration into a Future-Action Request, Cases 3 and 4 and Debrief

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Turn a Frustration into a Request Activity
		Instruct participants to read each scenario and Turn a Frustration into a Future-Action Request / Case 3: Never Puts Things Back / My co-worker always uses my equipment, which I don’t mind. But he forgets to put things back, and I have to go wandering into his work space to hunt around for what I need. / What I’d like to have happen instead is___. / Explain how this will help (why you’re asking): This way I can___. / Case 4: Makes Me Look Bad / I work with someone who seems to enjoy making me look bad by sending emails to others when he should have had a private conversation with me beforehand. / What I’d like to have happen instead is___. / Explain how this will help (why you’re asking): This way I can___. / Debrief: / Ask each group to share their answers / .
Workbook Page: 9

Workbook
Activity

Participant Discussion

Approximate Activity Time
10-Minutes

Scripting the Turnaround/Make a Request Conversation Worksheet

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Steps for Turning a Complaint into a Request
		Direct participants to the workbook page, Steps for Scripting the Turnaround/Make a Request Conversation worksheet / .
Workbook Page: 10

Workbook
Page

Turnaround Make a Request Steps

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Turnaround Make a Request Steps (animated slide)
		Facilitator Note: This is an animated slide: / Using this animated slide, reveal the steps one-by-one: / Start: / “Could I ask you to___________.” / “Can I get your help on something?” / “I have an idea for how we can work better / together. Can I run it by you?” / “Can I ask you for a favor?” / Ask for what you want / Think about what you don’t like or don’t want, and turn it around to describe what you want. Your frustration is now voiced as a request versus complaint. / 3. Say why this is important to you: / “This will help me to…” / 4. Wait for or Invite a response: / “What do you think?” / “Would you be ok with this?” / “Does this make sense?” / .
Workbook Page: 10

Turnaround Make a Request Case

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Case Group Activity
		Reference the Case: / Abigail informs you the Friday before that she is leaving for a week’s vacation. The time off was approved by her manager months ago. However she didn't tell you until now. The impact is that you're left covering for her next week with little information and time to prepare. / For the future, you want Abigail to know you need more notice to plan and why. / Instructions: / Divide the group into 4—6 people per flipchart. / Instruct the groups to assign a scribe and begin scripting their message. / Ask participants to bring their workbooks and refer to the Steps for Scripting the Turnaround/Make a Request Conversation. / .
Workbook Page: 10

Activity Requiring Flipchart

Approximate Activity Time
10-Minutes

Check Your Message Role Play

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Check Your Message Role Play
		Instructions: / Group Debrief and Role Play / Step 1: / Choose two people in your group: / Abigail / The person initiating the conversation / Step 2: / Role-Play your message / Step 3: Group Feedback / Allow each group to practice their message / .

Participant Discussion

Activity Requiring Flipchart

Approximate Activity Time
10-Minutes

Get the Full Story

		.

Get the Full Story Introduction

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Get the Full Story
		Introduce the “Get the Full Story” Section. / Get the Full Story / Use This Approach When: You interpret an individual’s actions in a way that brings you to a worrisome conclusion and leaves you wondering about the intent. This approach allows you to get the full story versus imagining the worst case scenario. / .
Workbook Page: 11

When to Use “Get the Full Story” Approach

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: 3 Ways to Strengthen Relationships
		Get the Full Story / Use This Approach When: You interpret an individual’s actions in a way that brings you to a worrisome conclusion and leaves you wondering about the intent. This approach allows you to get the full story versus imagining the worst case scenario. / Rethinking thinking - Trevor Maber Ladder of Inference Video
Slide: Assumptions and False Stories Trap
Video: The Ladder of Inference

Video

Self-Driven Insight

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Ladder of Inference “Rungs”
		Debrief Video: / Ask, “Which ladder rung gets us into the most trouble?” / Most will answer, “assumptions”. / Say, “So what we need to do is check whether our assumptions, “our story”, is correct.” / .
Workbook Page: 12

Self-Driven Insight

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Which “Rung” Leads to Problems
		Debrief Video: / Ask, “Which ladder rung gets us into the most trouble?” / Most will answer, “assumptions”. / Ask, “How often are our assumptions correct?” / Reveal this slide showing that our assumptions lead to actions. Incorrect assumptions can lead to unnecessary actions. / Say, “So, we need to recognize when we might have made an assumption and check “our story”. / .
Slide: Assumptions Lead to Actions / Workbook Page: 12

Get the Full Story Worksheet

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Get the Full Story Steps Worksheet
		Direct participants to the workbook page, Steps for Scripting the Get the Full Story worksheet. / .
Workbook Page: 13

Workbook
Page

Get the Full Story Steps

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Get the Full Story Steps
		Facilitator Note: This is an animated slide / Using this animated slide, reveal the steps one-by-one: / 1. Start: / “Can I check something out with you?” / 2. Factually describe the situation (who, what, where and when) and the behavior you o served (what the person said or did): / “This morning at the staff meeting…” / Describe your interpretation of what you think was intended (the story you have told yourself): / “I was thinking it might mean that…” / 4. Invite a response: / “What’s your take on this?” / “Did I read into this?” / “Am I off base?” / “How do you see things?” / .
Workbook Page: 13

Get the Full Story Case Option 1 (Adam)

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Group Activity Case Option 1 (Adam)
		Reference the Case: / Adam is a very motivated and highly productive person. He excludes you from most decisions; he basically works on his own all the time. As a result, there have been occasions when critical issues haven’t been addressed in the design stage, which meant extra time and work for you. You're guess is that he’s unaware of the problem and how involving you would provide him with access to information he doesn’t even know is available. / How should you check into this? / Instructions: / Divide the group into 4—6 people per flipchart. / Instruct the groups to assign a scribe and begin scripting their message. / Ask participants to bring their workbooks and refer to the Steps for Scripting the Turnaround/Make a Request Conversation. / .
Worksheet Page: 13

Activity Requiring Flipchart

Approximate Activity Time
10-Minutes

Get the Full Story Case Option 2 (Judy)

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Group Activity Case Option 2 (Judy)
		Reference the Case: / You and Judy are working on a project that’s running at a quick pace. There’s a lot required to deliver things, and you’re counting on Judy to complete her assignment on time. When she submits her work to you, it’s full of errors. You wonder if the work was spot checked before being passed on to you. Is this even the final draft, or could it be an earlier version? / How should you check into this? / Script your talking points. / Instructions / Divide the group into 4—6 people per flipchart. / Instruct the groups to assign a scribe and begin scripting their message. / Ask participants to bring their workbooks and refer to the Steps for Scripting the Turnaround/Make a Request Conversation. / .
Worksheet Page: 13

Activity Requiring Flipchart

Approximate Activity Time
10-Minutes

Check Your Message Role Play

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Check Your Message Role Play (Adam)
		Instructions: / Group Debrief and Role Plays / Step 1: / Choose two people in your group: / Adam (or Judy, depending on the case) / The person initiating the conversation / Step 2: / Role-Play your message / Step 3: Group Feedback / Allow each group to practice their message / .
OR / Slide: Check Your Message Role Play (Judy)

Participant Discussion

Activity Requiring Flipchart

Approximate Activity Time
10-Minutes

Convey an Impact

		.

Convey an Impact

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Convey an Impact
		Introduce the “Convey an Impact” Section. / Use This Approach When: / You want to bring awareness to an individual whose actions are having an adverse impact. This creates the opportunity for the person to understand how they are being experienced, and what they can do to adjust their approach for a better outcome. / .
Workbook Page: 14

Situation Behavior, Impact Scenario

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Situation Behavior, Impact Scenario (video and animated slide)
		Facilitator Note: Automated animation will fade, then click the “black screen” to play the video. / Show the 2009 VMA Awards Video featuring Taylor Swift giving her acceptance speed for Best Female Video: / While Taylor Swift was giving her acceptance speech, Kanye West walked on stage, interrupted Taylor’s speech by taking her microphone, and said, "Yo, Taylor, I'm really happy for you, I'm going to let you finish, but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time. / The cameras then showed a shocked Beyonce. Kanye West was then booed off stage. It was reported that Swift was seen backstage “hysterically crying." / Note to Facilitator This is an opportunity to delineate between the conversation type approaches. / After showing the video explain that if Taylor had a conversation with Kanye, she would not use the: / Turnaround or / “Get the full story” scripts: / Why not? If she did, then it would sound like this: / Turnaround Message: / Kanye, can I ask you a favor? Next year at the VMA’s if I win an award, would you please stay seated during my acceptance speech?” / Or / Get the Full Story Message: / Kanye, can I check something out with you? / Last night at the VMA awards when you took my microphone and said Beyonce should have won, / the story I was telling myself was that you thought Beyonce should have won. / .

Video

Tips for Showing a Video in PowerPoint
Make sure the video file is saved on the computer you’ll be using for the slide presentation.
“Insert” the video into the ppt. slide.
Before each training, test the video to insure it’s working. Oftentimes it needs to be re-inserted.

Situation Behavior, Impact Scenario

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Situation. Behavior, Impact Example (animated slide)
		Facilitator Note: This is an animated slide / Pretend you were helping Taylor Swift prepare to have a conversation about the VMA incident with Kanye West, using the Situation, Behavior and Impact steps. / Ask, “What was the Situation?” / Pause to let participant answer: / “At the VMA Awards last night when I was onstage accepting my award for video of the year...” / Ask, “What was the Behavior?” / You came up on stage, took the microphone out of my hand, and said, “Beyonce should have won video of the year award.” / Ask, “What do you imagine Taylor saying the impact was for her?” / I’m not sure if this was your intent or not, but it made me feel like...

Situation, Behavior, Impact Steps and Worksheet

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Situation, Behavior, Impact Steps (animated slide)
		Facilitator Note: This is an animated slide / Using this animated slide, reveal the steps one-by-one: / 1. Start: / “Can I check something out with you?” / 2. Factually describe the situation: (who, what, where and when) and the behavior you observed (what the person said or did): / “This morning at the staff meeting…” / 3. Describe your internal experience: / “I don’t think this was your intent, but it made me feel like…” / 4. Wait for or invite a response: / “What’s your take on this?” / “How do you see things?” / “Were you aware of this?” / .
Workbook Page: 15

Situation, Behavior, and Impact Worksheet

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Steps for Conveying an Impact Worksheet
		Direct participants to the workbook page, Steps for Conveying an Impact worksheet. / .
Worksheet Page: 15

Situation, Behavior, Impact Case Option 1 (Roger)

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Group Activity Case
		Reference the Case: / No matter what the topic is, Roger always contributes negative comments . He shoot down ideas that he thinks are dumb, and this hampers brainstorming sessions. Rather than help find solutions to problems, he brings up more things wrong to address. Roger’s consistent negativity has created a dynamic that drains energy from the team. You need to say something at this point. / Script your message. / Instructions / Divide the group into 4-6 people per flipchart. / Instruct the groups to assign a scribe and begin scripting their message. / Ask participants to bring their workbooks and refer to the Steps for Scripting the Turnaround/Make a Request Conversation. / .
Workbook Page: 15

Activity Requiring Flipchart

Approximate Activity Time
10-Minutes

Situation, Behavior, Impact Case Option 1 (Margo)

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Convey an Impact Case
		Reference the Case: / Margo’s office cube is next to yours. Her voice is loud when she talks on the phone, and you can hear her conversations. A lot of the calls are personal. It’s become hard for you to concentrate on your work; and you're overhearing things that you'd rather not know about. This happens several times a day. / You’re preparing to have a talk with Margo about this. You need to make her aware of the impact. / Script your message. / Instructions: / Divide the group into 4-6 people per flipchart. / Instruct the groups to assign a scribe and begin scripting their message. / Ask participants to bring their workbooks and refer to the Steps for Scripting the Turnaround/Make a Request Conversation. / .
Workbook Page: 15

Activity Requiring Flipchart

Approximate Activity Time
10-Minutes

Check Your Message Role Play

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Check Your Message Role Play (Roger)
		Instructions: / Group Debrief and Role Plays / Step 1: / Choose two people in your group: / Roger (or Margo, depending on the case) / The person initiating the conversation / Step 2: / Role-Play your message / Step 3: Group Feedback / Allow each group to practice their message / .
OR / Slide: Check Your Message Role Play (Margo)

Participant Discussion

Activity Requiring Flipchart

Approximate Activity Time
10-Minutes

Choose the Best Option for Each Scenario Activity

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Choose the Best Option for Each Scenario
		Activity Instructions / Say, “Now that we have reviewed and tried each of the three approaches, Read each scenario and match the best Conversation Approach Option” / : / ___Turnaround/Make a Request / ___Get the Full Story / ___Convey the Impact / . Debrief the cases by asking participants which option they chose for each of the three scenarios. / See the answer key on the following page
Workbook Page: 16

Workbook
Activity

Approximate Activity Time
6-Minutes

Approximate Activity Time
6 Minutes

Participant Discussion

Approximate Activity Time
6 Minutes

Approximate Activity Time
5-Minutes

Answer Key—Choose the Best Option for Each Scenario Activity

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Answer Key: Choose the Best Option for Each Scenario
Scenario 1: Stuck in a Rut As assignments are distributed, this person strongly suggests that you stick to the tasks you’re good at versus trying something new for the sprint because the team can afford no delays in getting the release out. / You are wondering if this person lacks confidence in your abilities. You think this person sees you as less capable and this is the real reason behind his “suggestions". Eager to continue progressing in your career, you wonder if you’re not viewed as someone who has more potential.		___Turnaround/Make a Request / __X_Get the Full Story / ___Convey the Impact / ___Turnaround/Make a Request / ___Get the Full Story / _X_Convey the Impact / . / _ X_Turnaround/Make a Request / ___Get the Full Story / ___Convey the Impact
Scenario 2: Harsh Critic This team member has a habit of publicly blaming others when things go wrong. Sometimes, the facts come out to support the person’s claim but other times, not. Regardless, placing blame is never helpful. / This usually occurs in meetings—everyone starts positive and ready to move ahead until the blame game starts. Personally, it makes you uncomfortable, and it’s affecting the team’s morale.
Scenario 3: Uneven Workload As assignments are distributed, this person routinely tries to funnel the hardest, trickiest, messiest tasks to you. On one level, you’re pleased with the vote of confidence, but it’s now getting old. You want the workload to be shared more evenly.

Practice Your Scenario, 2-Step Activity

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Step 1, Your Scenario Activity Instructions
		Step-1 Instructions: / Think about an issue you might want to address. Write your notes about the issue below the category of the approach you think will work best. / .
Workbook Page: 17

Workbook
Activity

Practice Your Scenario, 2-Step Activity

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Step 2, Your Scenario Activity Instructions
		Step-2 Instructions: / Use the Three Approaches Worksheet to script your message.
Worksheet: 18

Workbook
Activity

Approximate Activity Time
6 Minutes

Approximate Activity Time
5-Minutes

Program Conclusion

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: 2 Ways to Strengthen Relationships
		Reminder participants of the “3 Ways to Strengthen Relationships” / Reference the Card and Worksheet
Slide: Three Approaches / Card Worksheet

Program Conclusion

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Skills and Tools Recap
		Skills and Tools Recap / Remind participants of the Peer Conversations and the 5-Minute Peer Questions Organizer Worksheet / Reference the Card and Worksheet
Slide: Peer Conversations / Card Worksheet

Program Recap and Conclusion

Slides and Participant Workbook Pages		Facilitator Notes
Slide: Share Your Insight
		1. Ask participants to use a sticky note(s) to answer the two questions: / What’s one thing you learned and will use? / What’s one thing you have a question or comments about? / 2. Designate a place in the room for participants to post the notes. / 3. Answer the questions before participants depart.

Post-It Note Exercise

Approximate Activity Time
10-Minutes

Employee Performance Solutions LLC www.EmployeePerformanceSolutions.com 781-752-5716

Video

Workbook
Activity

Participant Discussion

Approximate Activity Time
6 Minutes

Approximate Activity Time
6 Minutes

Video

Activity Requiring Flipchart

Post-It Note Exercise

We depend upon peers, internal customers, our manager, vendors, partners and others to get our jobs done. Everyday conversations and the quality of our relationships impact our effectiveness and our happiness and energy at work.
Sometimes, our relationships are working well. But, we've all be in situations where relationships have broken down or could be better. We can view these breakdowns as inevitable and impossible to correct or see the opening: imagining what could, should and can be.
This workshop will introduce you to three approaches to address frustrations, unmet expectations, check your assumptions, and clear up misunderstandings. Realistic cases and practical tools will give you the words and confidence to initiate small conversations that will strengthen your relationships with others.

Topic:

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Navigating Challenging Conversations Facilitator Guide
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